Sunday, October 6, 2013

life // isn't fair... and neither are You!

6 years ago, I lived what I thought was the darkest moment in my life. I got a call from my dad, and with a broken voice he told me my grandpa had died. That was it. One minute he was ok, the next he was gone. I thought that was the worst thing that could have happened to me but I was wrong. My life changed back then forever, and I never went back to being the same... Well, my life have suddenly turned into the worst of my nightmares again. This time it was my mom on the phone... It was her broken voice telling me my dad was gone. That's it... One second she was telling me he was on a biking trip with his friends, the next he was no longer with us.

I'm in shock... I can't believe it. I'm waiting for my plane to depart to what's going to be my longest and most horrible trip ever. I'm going back home not with the joy to spend time with my family, but with the sadness that consumes my heart and soul because I won't see you ever again. I will never again listen to your voice, fight with you, hug you, or feel your beard against my skin when you kiss me. I will never again be able to prove you that I will accomplish my dreams. I will never again see that light in your eyes that you had when you looked at me feeling proud. 

The minute I land in Bogota, this nightmare will turn real and I don't know I have the strength to deal with it. You were too young! You weren't supposed to die! God wasn't supposed to ripped you off our sides. Your life had a meaning! You saved lives! You gave hundreds of elderly people the chance to keep living many more years in dignity. Your hands were blessed. You were our blessing. You took care of yourself. Didn't smoke nor drink. You believed sport would allow you to live many more years. You were totally healthy. I thought we had the rest of our lives to spend together. 

Why... Why did you take him away? We believed in you. We made you part of our lives with pride and happiness. We put our lives and that of our loved ones in your hands! We believed you would keep us safe. And for the second time in my life, you didn't. You took away one of the 3 most important persons in my life. You took away my hero, my life. What am I supposed to do now? Believe that there's a reason why you did this? Keep believing you are the loving god I so believed in? How? How can I when there's no possible explanation to my dad not being here anymore. To me having to rush to the airport to take the next fight back home. To me never again being able to spend one more second with him. How can I see light in this darkness?